Microsoft vs. General Motors

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the Computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
 
"If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
 
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
 
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
 
1) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
 
2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road you would have to buy a new car.
 
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would accept this.
 
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
 
5) Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.
 
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on five percent of the roads.
 
7) The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
 
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
 
9) The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.
 
10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
 
11) GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (Now a GM subsidiary) even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the cars performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
 
12) Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
 
13) You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn off the engine.

Is Windows a virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
 

1.) They replicate quickly.
2.) Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do.
3.) Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk.
4.) Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems.
5.) Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.
 

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.
So, Windows is not a virus?

Gates Give Coke Some Pointers

Bill Gates recently compared the OS market with the soft drink market, explaining that Microsoft is hanging on for dear life in the ultracompetitive OS market while Coke enjoys a real monopoly, since they'll be on top forever, but the DOJ doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following:

Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, i'd like a Big Mac.

Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99.

J: Uh, i don't want a Coke.

C: Sorry, they're bundled.

J: What? I'm not paying for a Coke!

C: You don't; the Coke is free.

J: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week?

C: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke!

J: I already bought a 7-Up across the street - I'm not going to drink the Coke.

C: Then you can't have the burger.

J: Okay, fine, i'll pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away.

C: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable.

J: How can that be? They're two totally seperate things!

C: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See?

J: Why did you just do that?!?!

C: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods.

J: Aaarrgh!

Really spooky, watch the commercial closely - you must READ THIS STORY FIRST!!!

Be sure your sound is on.

This is a Car Advertisement that was never released. Watch your screen closely with the SOUND ON and turned up. When the film crew finished filming the Car Ad, the people who edited it noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist. The Ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon frightened the production team out of their wits. Watch closely as the car comes from behind the trees about halfway through the commercial, look and you will see the white mist crossing in front of the car, then following it along the road. There is a faint noise that sounds like a disembodied voice. Very Spooky! Then view it here.